You Know What They Say Ford Stands for Dont Ya? It Stands for fix It Again Tony

Seasons: 2 ii 2 2 2 7 7 7 7 7 11 xi 11 | Main

King of the Colina (1997-2010) was an American blithe sitcom that aired on Fox. The show centers around the Loma family unit, whose caput is the ever-responsible, hard-working, loyal, disciplined, and honest Hank Hill.

w: Pilot (Rex of the Hill) Pilot [1.01] [edit]

Dale Gribble: I know what's incorrect with it. It'southward a Ford. You know what they say Ford stands for, don't ya? It stands for 'Prepare it again, Tony'.

Hank Hill: Yous're thinking of a Fiat, Dale.

Dale Gribble: "Fix... information technology... again..."

Hank Colina: Whatcha listenin' to, son?

Bobby Hill: I don't call back you'd like information technology.

Hank Loma: Well, why not? I like this new generation of music. [puts headphones on]

Old woman on record: Hello?

[The tape erupts into sudden flatulence]

Hank Hill: [takes headphones off] Mother of God, information technology's all toilet sounds! Where did you lot record this?

Bobby Colina: I bought information technology at the mall! It'south the Funny Phone Jerks!

Hank Hill: Let me tell you, Bobby, there's nothing "funny" nigh these sounds! What that person on your tape has is a medical disorder. Now you get ready for the game, OK?

Bobby Loma: Aye, sir.

Hank Hill: [leaving Bobby's room] That boy ain't right.

The Loma family on the manner to Bobby's baseball game game.

Hank Hill: So, are you ready to kick some Wildcat butt, Bobby?

Bobby Hill: Okay.

Peggy Hill: Nah, don't yous worry, son. You just do your best.

Hank Hill: Don't mind to her, Bobby. If you wanna win, you're gonna accept to do ameliorate than your best.

Bobby Loma: How do I do that?

Hank Hill: Yous gotta give a hundred and ten percent. That's what'll give you that winnin' edge.

Bobby Hill: But what if the Wildcats give a hundred and ten percentage, too?

Hank Hill: Well, then you lot gotta effort even harder.

Peggy Hill: How most if Bobby gave a hundred and twelve percent?

Hank Loma: Ahm ... sure, that'd work.

Bobby Loma: Or perchance a hundred and thirteen?

Hank Hill: [Annoyed] Yeah, yeah, that's fifty-fifty improve.

Peggy Hill: No, uh, I don't know. Thirteen is a very unlucky number.

Hank Loma: Look, nosotros're not talking nearly thirteen. We're talking nigh a hundred and 13, and even ... uh ... okay, give a hundred and twelve, what's the deviation? Wait, Bobby. Just do your best, okay?

Hank and Bobby at the Mega Lo Mart after Bobby got a black center at his baseball game.

Hank Colina: Excuse me, where'southward the hardware department?

Buckley: [Clueless] Where is the hardware department? Uhm, hm, what exactly is it you lot're looking for?

Hank Hill: The hardware department.

Buckley: Yeah, but are you looking for like a tool or something?

Hank Loma: What difference does information technology make?

Buckley: Huh, what difference does it make?

Hank Colina: Okay, I'grand lookin' for a tap-and-die and some WD-forty.

Buckley: Huh, what is it that you're trying to do?

Hank Colina: [Losing patience] I'thou tryin' to buy a tap-and-die and some WD-40 and leave of this God-forsaken shop!

Buckley: Uh ... and what is a tap-and-die?

Hank Hill: Okay, forget it! Let'southward say I desire a hammer. Do you know what a hammer is? That's what I want, a damned hammer! Now where in the hell would I go?

Nearby Customer 1: Hey, that's that Hank Colina fella that lives on the block next to u.s..

Nearby Customer ii: He sure has a temper, doesn't he?

Nearby Customer i: Sure does. Makes you lot wonder who gave his male child that blackness center.

Bobby knocks over some cans swinging a paper-thin roll around.

Buckley: You're gonna have to pay for that, dude.

Hank Hill: [Shouting] YOU'RE FIRED!!

Hank is fixing his truck.

Hank Hill: [referring to the sound of Bobby throwing a baseball at the living room wall] Dammit! There it is over again! Where is that thumpin' comin' from? It's drivin' me crazy!

Dale Gribble: Could be far-off helicopters... U.N. helicopters.

Hank Hill: Dale! What're you doin'? Give me some light! Now! I tin can't come across! (Hank drops his wrench) Ow, my arm! (The hood closes) Ow, my caput!

Dale runs off

A Kid Protective Services worker interviews the family after a report for Bobby'due south blackness eye.

Anthony Page: Mr. Loma, I experience that you're coming from an acrimony mindset, and if yous're projecting this anger onto me, information technology gives me grave concerns as to how y'all facilitate your son's growth in private.

Hank Colina: Mister, I have not begun to project my acrimony onto you!

Hank Hill: Now you listen to me, mister. I piece of work for a livin', and I mean real piece of work, not writin' downwards gobbledegook! I provide the people of this community with propane and propane accessories. Oh, when I call up of all my difficult earned revenue enhancement dollars goin' ta pay a bunch of little twig-boy bureaucrats like you, it just makes me wanna ... oh ... oh God ... it just ...

Peggy Colina: Hank?

Hank Hill: Dearest, bring me my BC headache powder and a glass of h2o.

Peggy Hill: Alright, Hank.

Hank Loma: Now you lot heed hither. Yous encounter that boy? That'southward my boy! And if yous e'er try to accept him away, so help me God, I'll tear ya a new one bigger'northward the Yard Canyon! Now I want yous to get out of my house, yer not welcome hither! I mean at present, before I give you a black centre! Git!

Bill Dauterive Dale, are you sure yous desire to be messin' with Hank'due south truck when he'due south not around?

Dale Gribble: I'1000 gonna help get him this alternator off. (Dale cuts a wire).

Beak: Ah, Dale, I think ya released the brake cable! Dale?

Dale: No, I didn't. (The truck crashes into the garage door). I judge I'd better get goin', ah, I got some edging to exercise. (Dale grabs his cap out of the engine and he, along with Beak and Boomhauer, run dorsum to their homes).

Hank Hill: How is cutting down on pollution a regime plot, Dale?

Dale Gribble: Open upwards your eyes, man. They're trying to control global warming. Get information technology? GLO-BAL.

Hank Colina: And so what?

Dale Gribble: That's code for U.N. commissars telling Americans what the temperature's going to be in our outdoors. I say allow the world warm upwards, come across what Boutros Boutros-Ghali-Ghali thinks about that! We'll grow oranges in Alaska.

Hank Hill: Dale, you giblet-caput, we live in Texas. It's already 110° in the summertime, and if it gets i degree hotter, I'm gonna kicking your ass!

Hank Hill: Bobby, you can't make an omelette without breakin' eggs, and you lot can't become on base without takin' a swing.

Bobby Colina: The pitcher could walk me, couldn't he?

Hank Colina: Don't play lawyer-brawl, son.

Boomhauer: [discussing Seinfeld] See that part where dang ol' George come up in there, he talks 'bout tastin' his own burp and Kramer comes slidin' in there just like he ever does. I tell ya what, human, them dang ol' New York boys, just a testify about nothin'.

Bobby is talking with Joseph

Bobby: (Mocking his dad) Git out my house! My boy own't much, but he's all I got!

Hank: (Hank is lying on the bed) It'southward hard, Peggy. I don't wanna lose my little boy. My only son. But, oh, it's hard.

Peggy: Well, yous tin relax. The investigation has been off for a week, only Bobby didn't tell us.

Hank: I'LL KILL HIM!!!!!

Peggy: Alright, calm down, honey. At present, let me explain. He didn't do it to exist mean, Bobby honestly doesn't recollect you dear him all the time.

Hank: That's crazy, 'Form I love him.

Peggy: Very good. Now, say it to Bobby.

Hank: What are you talkin' nigh?

Peggy: I want you to tell Bobby that your love for him is unconditional.

Hank: Well, I tin can't say that. I can't! Yous know how I was raised! What my male parent's like!

Cotton: (shown in a flashback to Hank'southward youth) I got my shins blowed off by a Japanman's automobile gun, so don't come cryin' to me with your problems!

Peggy: Beloved, I'm begging you. For the sake of this family, y'all take got to do it. He's waiting for yous out on the porch.

Hank: Ah, jeez. Twig-male child coming over here... (Hank goes outside and talks to Bobby) Uh, you, uh, you're my son, uh, well, you know with everything uh, that entails, uh...

Bobby: Uh-huh.

Hank: Uh, huh, you know, uh, feelings of, uh, fondness, and more than, uh, heh, uh, you know what I hateful, don't y'all, boy?

Bobby: No.

Hank: Uhh, well uh, (Hank makes a weird sound) Huh, that's a hell of a weird sound, I've never made that earlier. Uh, I, you, uh, family. You're not making this like shooting fish in a barrel on me, male child. (sighs) Okay, I love you no thing what you exercise. There, phew, permit's become get something to eat.

Bobby: I'g non, just a big disappointment to yous?

Hank: Disappointment? No, you make me proud. I've been disappointed by but about everything else in this town, but y'all? Not in one case. Dammit, you're my boy. Heh, you know better than that. (Bobby laughing)

Anthony Page: He punched him! I, I knew information technology! I told them! Did-did you see that?

Bus Passenger: Come across what, twig-boy?

Anthony Folio: (sighs) Never mind.

Square Peg [i.02] [edit]

Peggy is attempting to say the names of reproductive organs for a sexual pedagogy class.:

Peggy Hill: Happiness. Happ-i-ness. Ha-penis. Penis. I did it! Ovaries. Uvula. Uterus. VAAAGINA!

[Hank does a spit-take with his beer.]:

Peggy: Hey Hank, I just said...

Hank: I heard ya! The whole neighborhood tin can hear you cussing!

Peggy: It'due south not cussing Hank, to say the name of a god-given body part.

Hank: Well it is if it'due south the office of a torso that was meant to be curtained by an undergarment. You're dealing with organs that people merely don't want to know about.

Peggy: Well, Bobby ought to know about 'em. We don't want him growing up as repressed equally we did.

Hank: Sure we exercise. I'm cartoon the line here, Peggy. My son is non gonna learn this crazy crap! Information technology says right hither that he tin can't accept the class without permission from both his parents!

Peggy: Now, just agree on. Are you saying I'm not good enough to teach my ain son?!

Hank: If yous do not corroborate, you practice not have to sign, and I do not corroborate. Permission denied!

Peggy: At present, Bobby, yous may have noticed that there is a departure betwixt a homo and a woman.

Bobby remains silent

Peggy: ...a rather obvious difference.

Bobby remains silent for a few more moments

Bobby: You mean the penis?

Peggy, unsure of how to proceed, stands up and walks out of the room totally mute.

[Dale is leaving a bulletin on the Hill's answering motorcar]

Dale Gribble: You don't know who I am, just I know where you live and you ameliorate cutting it out if you know what's good for you. Oh, and Hank, we changed that tee-off time to 3:00.

The Order of the Straight Arrow [1.03] [edit]

Hank Hill: [As a kid] When I abound up, I want to sell propane and propane accessories, if my grades are good plenty!

Hank Hill: We of the Order of the Straight Arrow call upon the spirit Wematanye, protector of the sacred footing that brings us cool water to drink and energy-efficient make clean-burning propane gas for all our sacred heating and cooking needs. Wematanye says, respect the earth! She's ours, past God, our taxes pay for Her. Also, information technology says here you gotta love all Her creatures. Let's see...oh, here nosotros go: Though nosotros walk through the valley of the shadow of death, you're gonna recommend us to the spirit in the sky, with freedom and justice for all. Wematanye is with you lot, and with Texas. Amen.

Hank's Got the Willies [1.04] [edit]

Hank: Santa Claus is for babies!

Bill: [pitiful] You're a mean 1, Mr. Grinch!

Luanne's Saga [1.05] [edit]

Hank Hill: Your heart is telling you?! Who'due south the boss, you lot or your centre? You are! Your heart is your employee! And then get your centre off its butt and back to piece of work!

Hank's Unmentionable Problem [one.06] [edit]

Peggy is dreaming almost Hank's funeral.

Bill Dauterive: He looks like an angel. A expressionless affections.

Boomhauer: (crying) Why, man, dang ol' why, why?!

Dale Gribble: Information technology should accept been Bill!

Peggy Loma: Oh, Hank. We never got a run a risk to talk nearly your trouble. And now... we never will.

C. Everett Koop: Remember, early detection is the key. At present laissez passer in your algebra homework.

Cotton fiber Hill: Goodbye, boy. Encounter you in HELL!

Cotton turns a toilet handle on Hank'south headstone. Hank's bury is sucked into the ground.

Nancy Gribble: (on Goggle box) The temperature is a pleasant lxx degrees. And on a more than personal note, I'd like to wish my friend Hank Colina a quick recovery from his embarrassing consti-

Hank changes the channel.

C. Everett Koop: -pation.

Hank Hill: (While constipated and watching his dog poo outside) Showoff.

Hank Hill:"Don't touch me. I'm on the John."

[last lines]

Hank Loma: You might have noticed in this night'south episode, at that place is some cursory nudity. Now, every bit an actor, I merely practice nudity when I feel the script warrants it. And I thought this night'south episode merely warranted seeing the side of my rump. Y'all tin believe me when I tell you the Pull a fast one on executives were pushing for a whole lot more than. If whatever of you lot were offended by my body, I'g truly sorry. Proficient night.

Westie Side Story [1.07] [edit]

Hank Hill: What the hell kind of country is this where I can only hate a man if he's white?

Peggy Hill: Practise you... do you think my feet are too big, Hank?

Hank Hill: No, hon. Just... more of you to honey.

[He takes a pace frontwards towards her, similar an on-screen embrace]

Peggy Colina: Ow.

[Hanks looks down to run into he'south stepping on Peggy'due south anxiety]

Hank Loma: Oh, pitiful.

Minh Souphanousinphone: Kahn, delight. For once try not to piss off neighbor. We kicked out of Laos, we kicked out of Anaheim... I tired of running.

Hank meets Kahn for the get-go time.

Hank Hill: So are you Chinese or Japanese?

Kahn Souphanousinphone: I live in California last 20 year, but, ah... outset come from Laos.

Hank Hill: Huh?

Kahn Souphanousinphone: Lao people's democratic republic. Nosotros Laotian.

Neb Dauterive: The ocean? What bounding main?

Kahn Souphanousinphone: Nosotros are Laotian--from Lao people's democratic republic, stupid! It's a landlocked country in southeast Asia. It'southward betwixt Vietnam and Thailand, OK? Population iv.seven million.

Hank ponders this for a few seconds.

Hank Hill: So are you Chinese or Japanese?

Kahn Souphanousinphone: [groans]

Hank Colina: He thinks just 'cause I'm from Texas that ways I'm a redneck. Chinese people and their stupid stereotypes!

Hank Hill: Please, Kahn. You're burning them! That's too much char.

Kahn Souphanousinphone: Close oral fissure and open mouth.

Dale Gribble: They'll probably get you with a blow-dart; that'southward their way. But you'll just think its a musquito bite until you die, then yous'll know the truth.

Kahn Souphanousinphone:: I could just stay home, order a bucket of chicken and watch Hee Haw; same thing [as going to the Hills' for dinner].

Hank Loma: Yous know Kahn, we may deny our kids completely dissimilar deserts, but they both go to bed hungry, and that'southward what really matters.

[last lines]

Minh Souphanousinphone: Rabbit, you rednecks will eat annihilation!

Shins of the Male parent [i.08] [edit]

Cotton fiber discovers that Bobby began a sexist riot at his school.

Cotton Hill: Bobby, I'm proud of what you did at school today....So I'grand buyin' you a hooker! Get ahead choice yourself out a live one.

Hank cheers Cotton wool for bringing a equus caballus ("Oh Dad, you didn't have to practice this.")

Cotton Loma: Well, y'all know me-- I'yard larger than life.

Cotton tells the story of how he was injured in WWII: "I was fourteen, just a little older than Bobby. Simply I knew Uncle Sam needed me, and so I lied and signed up. Nosotros had trounce the Nazzys in Italian republic, and they shipped me to the Pacific theater. A Tojo torpedo sent our troop ship to the bottom. I could only relieve three of my buddies: Fat, Stinky, and Brooklyn. They were kind of similar you lot fellas [to Bill, Dale, and Boomhauer], only one of them was from Brooklyn. Out of the lord's day came a Tojo Zero and put fitty bullets in my dorsum. The blood attracted sharks. I had to requite 'em Fatty. So things took a turn for the worse. I made information technology to an island, merely it was full of Tojos! They were spitting on the U.Due south. flag! So I rushed 'em, just it was a trap. They opened fire and blew my shins off. Last thing I call back, I beat 'em all to decease with a big piece of Fatty. I woke up in a field infirmary, and they were sewing my anxiety to my knees."

Bobby Hill: [Speaking to Joseph most Connie]: Oow. She's moody. Must exist PBS.

Cotton Hill: [to Luanne] You volition never know if you lot are attractive. It's upwards to a human to tell yous that. You keep eating, and I'll tell you lot when to cease.

[Cotton slaps Luanne'southward rear end]

Luanne: Bear upon me again, and you'll exist wearing that cornpone, quondam man.

Cotton Hill: Hoo-wee! Fiesty!

Peggy the Boggle Champ [1.09] [edit]

Hank Loma: Dallas? I don't desire yous going to Dallas at all! That place is crawling with crack heads and debutantes. And half of them play for the Cowboys.

Hank Colina: Now you listen to me! THE Proper noun IS HANK HILL! MR. HANK Loma! PEGGY MARRIED ME! I DIDN'T MARRY HER! What are you looking at?!

Peggy Hill: [crying] I am so stupid!

Hank Loma: Aw, y'all're not stupid. Heck, you're smarter than me.

Peggy Hill: Oh, large deal!

Hank Hill: Well, yous're smarter than anyone else in Arlen.

Peggy Hill: Well, whoop-dee-do! I am the smartest hillbilly in Hillbillytown!

Hank Hill: I-I'm trying Peggy. I just... hey, you know, Coachs used to say something that would burn down us upwardly when we were behind.

Peggy Colina: Yeah, what?

Hank Hill: LOSER! YOU'RE A LOSER! ARE YOU FEELING Pitiful FOR YOURSELF?! WELL, YOU SHOULD BE CAUSE Y'all ARE DIRT! You MAKE ME SICK You lot Large Infant! BABY Want A BOTTLE?! A Big DIRT BOTTLE?!

Peggy Hill: [crying harder] Why are you lot yelling at me?

Hank Hill: Uh, well, I'1000 trying to be your coach. I... It's... It's inspiring.

Peggy Loma: Well, cheers, cause I feel worse than ever.

Hank Hill: Well, information technology worked for the team.

Peggy Loma: No, It didn't. Y'all went to State and lost.

Hank Loma: Ah, jeez. I recollect I need one of those $8 beers.

[Minh has just lost $13 to Peggy playing Boggle.]

Minh Souphanousinphone:: Thank y'all for Bungle lesson, Peggy Hill. Maybe next weekend I teach you mahjong. Bring your checkbook!

[Boomhauer is playing a mowing stimulator game.]

Boomhauer: Homo that dang 'ol piece of crap dang 'ol blocked upwardly. G-get grass out there that-- [realizes his fingers have been chopped off in the game] AHH! I GOT NO FINGERS!

Keeping Up With Our Joneses [1.x] [edit]

Hank Loma: Is this John occupied? Esta es Juan occupado?

Bobby Hill: Sí.

Hank Hill: Bobby?

[He rips the public bathroom door open to see Bobby and Joseph smoking a cigarette. Everyone is in shock]

Dale Gribble: Joseph, I understand you smoked your first cigarette today.

Joseph Gribble: Dad, I'm sorry! I'll never smoke again.

Dale Gribble: Whoa, hold on, son! I want you to keep an open up listen and then you can brand an informed decision. If you want, you can read a bloated authorities report on smoking or go straight to the horse's mouth and get the facts from the tobacco manufacture!

Hank Hill: For God's sakes, Bobby, what nationality are y'all?

Bobby Loma: American.

Hank Colina: Then why are y'all property your cigarette similar some kind of European Nazi in a movie?

Bobby Loma: Why does it matter?

Hank Colina: That's not the correct sort of attitude for yous to take. Whatever you do, you should do right, even if it's something incorrect.

Hank Hill: Uh, I got to get do some stuff. I think I might accept left the blender on.

Peggy Hill: [to Bobby] Just trailer trash fume nowadays. Practise yous wanna look like trailer trash?

Luanne Platter: [crying] That's not off-white! I don't fume! [she runs abroad in tears]

Peggy Hill: Oh, honey, you lot are non trash only 'cause you grew up in a trailer and your mama's in prison.

Peggy Loma: Uh, Hank, there is a "tile" in the bathroom that I recall we missed.

Hank Hill: Really? Well, I better check that out.

[Hank goes into the bathroom, sees a cigarette, smokes a few puffs, then returns to the kitchen]

Hank Hill: Heh-heh-heh. Well, I plant the "tile" — thank yous very much, Peggy — and I looked at it but in that location's yet some more "tile" for you to look at.

Peggy Hill: You know, I think I will save the rest of my "tile" for after breakfast.

Bobby Colina: Will y'all stop talking near your stupid tile?! If it'due south so dirty go make clean information technology, and if it's make clean you tin close upward!!

[He stubs out his breakfast sausage equally if it were a cigarette and leaves the tabular array]

Hank Hill: [at a cold turkey support group meeting, glaring at the counselor] I got the strangest feeling someone's gonna boot his ass.

Kicking the Barrel Club Advisor: Hey, there, why don't you tell us your name and how long you've been smoking.

Hank Hill: Uh, I'd rather not.

Kick the Butt Club Advisor: I understand. Information technology'due south not easy to acknowledge we're weak.

Hank Hill: You're calling me weak?!? Look at your lilliputian birdy artillery, they're no thicker than a cigarette! I could smoke them little artillery!

Kick the Butt Club Advisor: Is this your son? It's beautiful how you came out to support your daddy.

Bobby Hill: I'm a smoker, too.

Everyone gasps.

Kick the Barrel Club Advisor: Oh, no. How long take y'all been addicted to cigarettes?

Bobby Hill: Since my dad allow me fume a whole carton.

Hank Hill: Wait a minute, I didn't allow him, I fabricated him. It was a penalisation.

[Everyone murmurs in acrimony, disgusted with Hank]

Bill Dautrieve: Tin can I become a new buddy?

Audition member: What is wrong with him?

Kick the Barrel Club Counselor: Y'all are sick, sir! You shouldn't exist allowed to take children!

Hank Hill: Now agree on a minute here. I didn't bring my family hither to be yelled at. I don't call back I like this club. You lot all whine too much, and the coffee'southward bad. I'll tell you what y'all need to practise. You lot demand to have a thirteenth step... down off your loftier horse!

Luanne Platter: Here's to three of the bravest individuals in all of Arlen. To the Hills and their tobacco-free hereafter!

Hank Hill: My God, are you still talking?!

Bobby Loma: Why'southward my potato got skin on it? I hate skin!

Peggy Colina: I will not sit here and have my work insulted! What, do yous think the potatoes just wing into the bowl and brew themselves?!!

Luanne Platter: I know y'all don't hateful none of those harsh words. It'due south just the nicotine withdrawal.

Hank Hill: Why is she still talking?!!

Luanne Platter: [after finding Peggy hiding in the closet with a cigarette] I institute her.

Peggy Hill: Shut the damn door!! Can't yous see that I am knitting!!

Bobby Colina: Mom. Hand over the cigarette!

Peggy Hill: Nooooo!

Bobby Hill: Mom this is not your son, this is your buddy!

Peggy Hill: NOOOOO!!

Bobby Hill: Hand it over!!

Luanne Platter: [locking the family unit in the bedroom] I'm crating ya'll in like an unruly dog. I am ill of dysfunctional families. I came from one, and I am non gonna let it happen to you. Part!! Function damn you!!!

Peggy Colina: Okay. Women and children beginning. I have the beginning puff, Bobby here become'due south the 2nd, if there's annihilation left...you lot.

Hank Loma: Who are you trying to kid? We all know there won't be anything left. Lets you and me split information technology Peg! It'll be romantic! Y'all know similar the old days, before he came along!

Bobby Hill: Momma. It's your son. Nine months within remember? Those were good times likewise!

Peggy Hill: I don't know. Now this is merely happening too fast, I just don't know.

Hank Hill: Well I practice! Come on Bobby, y'all and I can have her! You go high, I'll go low!

Peggy Hill: Well, look at us. At each other'due south throats. And after all we've been through. This family has survived fires and twisters and every strain of influenza the Orient could throw at us. Well, we are not going to be done in by a lousy tobacco leaf. We're gonna brand information technology. Together.

King of the Ant Colina [1.eleven] [edit]

(Annotation: the following quote comes from a deleted scene)

Kahn Souphanousinphone: Put on shoes, hillbilly!

Kahn Souphanousinphone: Where I come from we got this thing called karma. Yous practise something bad, it come back and bite you in the ass! Big, white, stubborn ass!

Bobby Loma: (Hypnotized past the Queen)...YES... ...MY... ...QUEEN...

Hank Loma: (on his mower, talking to an anthill) Put your caput between your six legs and kiss your butt adept-adieu! (runs over the anthill)

[Dale had just destroyed Hank's lawn. Dale passes by Hank'due south lawn while Peggy is talking to Hank.]

Hank Colina: [After just noticing Dale] DALE!

[Dale yells and hurries to his van.]

Hank Hill: Dale, you went too far this time! Come up back hither![Starts chasing Dale] Come here! I'm gonna kick your ass!

Dale Gribble: No! NO!

Hank Hill: I'thou gonna kicking it harder if you don't come up over here!

Dale Gribble: [desperate] You shouldn't accept fired me! You know what I'thousand similar! I'm capable of any crazy thing!

Hank Colina: But my lawn, Dale! Y'all don't mess with a human's Lawn!

Dale Gribble: I had no choice! I tried planting the ants in your driveway, but they didn't take! They couldn't bite through cement! They're weak, like me! [Wheezes]

(Said to Dale Gribble after he mistakenly thought Dale had died from a poisonous ant attack)

Hank Colina: You lot gave your life to relieve my son. I approximate that makes us even for you ruinin' my lawn. What am I proverb? Of course, information technology makes us even!

Plastic White Female [1.12] [edit]

Bobby:(Talking to a mannequin head) "Y'all look really special this night."

Peggy on what their course of action after catching Bobby kissing the mannequin head

Peggy: Nosotros'll motion to Berlin. Bobby will be accustomed there. I read somewhere that Germans are a very tolerant people. Their culture admires all kinds of freaks.

Peggy Hill: I know it is not my error. If anything, this is your error. Y'all made him go to that camp with no toilet doors.

Hank Hill: Don't point your finger at me, adult female. You're the 1 who parks him in forepart of the TV and makes him sentry all them Muppets. They got frogs kissing pigs, what the hell did they think was going to happen?

The salsa music playing during Bobby's 'seduction' of the plastic head is Discarga Criolla by Ray Barreto.

Hank Hill: (Seeing Bobby freeing the mannequin head in the cabinets) Well that only tears it! I have tried to be patient, merely now information technology's time for a little tough love! (snatches the mannequin head abroad from Bobby)

External links [edit]

hulltheigave.blogspot.com

Source: https://en.wikiquote.org/wiki/King_of_the_Hill_(season_1)